Hey guys. In my English class, we have really been focusing on poetry and all. Some of our assignments was to write a poem or two. We'll I've written some and I feel like I need some opinions on them. Everyone likes them, but I would like to see what you guys think. This one is my favorite and if you all would leave me opinions on it, that would be great. Thanks! And, you can even post your poems here too if you'd like.

Where I'm From.
I am from a quite place in a small town,
where the cows graze, were the roosters cry out in the morning, and song birds that sing long into the day.

I am from a country home were the scents of freshly baked cherry pie, hickory bacon and pancakes fill the house. From the old tyme typewriter to the hundred year old dresser I use to this day.
It's all simple.

I am from the hot, blazing days in July were most of the activites revolve around water, to the chilling winters in December by the warm, crackling fire.

I am from the swinging bridge back in a place hardly anyone has heard of. Where the creek and river waters are ice cold and the cool evening under the Oak Tree with a piece of watermellon feels like heaven.
And to the stories, jokes and endless laughs that will play in your mind forever.

I am from a wonderful family whose love could not be replaced. My roots come from Italy to England, to the Cherokee Indians that make up most of me.

I am from my grandmother, who influences my life everyday. I have her wonderful, loving personality be her raging temper no one wants to see.

I am from a simple little place. Nothing to big, Nothing to fancy, just simple. Just like my life. I wouldn't want anything more. Everything is perfect.


So, what do you guys think?

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Mrs. Joey Zehr™,

Ohh, that's pretty. :]

I write poetry, but mine aren't usually very coherent, like that.

quote:

And to the stories, jokes and endless laughs that will play in your mind forever.

It seems a bit out of place in that paragraph,
maybe add in an extra line or two to make it fit?

Other than that, you just need to correct the tiny spelling mistakes, here and there, and you're good.

its beautiful♥

Thank you guys!

"i am from the swinging bridge back in a place hardly anyone has heard of" is quite good. that was my favourite line.

but don't you think the sentences are rather too long for that to be considered a poem?

idk, debatable really. a poem is what you want it to be, etc etc. revolutionary poets eg. e.e. cummings provide solid evidence.

you could put a line break where a comma or period shows up.

my poems are here if you guys want to check them out.

Well see I've edited like the whole poem since I've posted it so I've made it way better from the last time. But thanks for the advice.